半个学期了,学生练习或直接背诵了读后续写算来也有十四篇了,学生的问题还是有很多的,其中一个就是背诵难,背了容易忘记。有一天我感慨了一句,背诵真有那么难吗?这样吧,我今天告诉你们如何读一遍就能一字不漏背诵的技巧。
但是,如果换成其它小说里的同样的字数的段落,我是不可能读一遍就能完成的。我只能应对背诵应试类的作文。其实,背诵也是需要锻炼的,或者说背诵本身就是一种能力,长期的背诵锻炼的效果是远远大于很少背诵的。其次,应试作文的行文是有技巧的,命题人选文就已经潜意识里有了选择的通行标准。
无非就是:Action-Response——Emotion原则(在我的新书里都有,这里顺便回答后台很多读者的咨询我的写作书何时出版,回答是:由于很多不可确定的因素,书号一直在等待批下来,大概率本月差不多了)。
正是因为读后续写的范文的规律性,所以背诵就很容易,前提是你要认真理解行文逻辑,理解了就能背诵的。
但是, 我们必须要背诵经得起考验的满分作文,不管读后续写如何经历套路和反套路的斗争,你背诵的读后续写范文绝对都会是满分。读者要知道,有很多前期满分的续写范文随着时间推进和大家水平的提高,它们是经不起推敲的,尤其是以各种下水文为主的所谓高分范文。今天拿到23分,明天可能只能拿到15分,这并不少见,因为过去那种没有思想的浮夸的语言后来被极其排斥。同理,过去看起来语言并不高大上的及格分作文今天竟然拿到24分, 原因是大家已经认识到读后续写的本质,返璞归真,意识到朴实简洁但情节流畅到一气呵成的作文才是王者。
这也是读后续写比较特殊的存在吧,读后续写属于文学范畴,不能打动一个人的陈词滥调结局一定很悲剧, 可以没有漂亮的词汇,但一定要有美丽的灵魂。
下面我带着学生把这两周背诵的八篇作文的语言等一一总结,我嘱咐他们:读后续写根本不需要你额外背诵语料,就从你手头上背过的续写里总结,绰绰有余了。
衔接——时间衔接
佳句
来源
There was a long silence before I...
14 级台阶
In the next few frozen seconds, ...
14 级台阶
It suddenly dawned on Carter that what he did just now was just like ...
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
No sooner had they painted the unique car than their Mum called them to have dinner.
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
Before leaving, she hugged her husband tightly, and then said goodbye to him.
失明妻子去上班
Fortunately, everything went on perfectly.
失明妻子去上班
Each time she got home, Mark would tell her he was really proud of her amazing progress.
失明妻子去上班
Soon we were busy preparing gifts for our unexpected guests
不一样的圣诞
The next hour saw me decorating it with ..
给爸爸送母亲节的礼物
Not until we returned home did I put it on the table in the kitchen and hid behind the door
给爸爸送母亲节的礼物
衔接——听到……;说/提到……;遭到……;想/意识到……
佳句
来源
Hearing this, Jackson beamed.
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
She was close to letting the kids down, for she had intended the money for her favorite doll!
物归原主
Met with refusal, the wretched creature was on the verge of tears.
不一样的圣诞
Realizing they were homeless, I went back and told my colleagues what had happened.
不一样的圣诞
Hearing these, the other two workers stood rigid over there, their faces reddening like ketchup. They did regret not even giving it a go.
经理选人测试
Action——动一动(手、腿、头)
佳句
来源
He shook his head.
14 级台阶
But I still held out a five-dollar bill.
14 级台阶
Eyes narrowed and fists clenched,...
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
Jackson beamed and embraced Carter tightly
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
Before leaving, she hugged her husband tightly, and then said goodbye to him.
失明妻子去上班
Mrs. Green nodded in confusion and let her in.
物归原主
She pressed it against her chest tightly and then embraced Jenny, tears of gratitude streaming down her cheeks.
物归原主
They nestled close to each other.
不一样的圣诞
The youngest kid was staring at decorations on the tree, gesturing to get one from it.
不一样的圣诞
Nodding admiringly and pointing to the suitcase, the director started the stopwatch.
经理选人测试
The guy approached it and injected the knife into the lock
经理选人测试
Dad embraced me tightly, words failing him.
给爸爸送母亲节的礼物
Emotion——感一感(心里感受;面部表情)
佳句
来源
In the next few frozen seconds shame flooded over me.
14 级台阶
The little girl was about eight with a wide smile.
14 级台阶
There was a long silence before I drove away, shaken in mind, humbled in spirit.
14 级台阶
Eyes narrowed and fists clenched, Carter could feel a blaze of flame fueling inside him.
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
She had butterflies in her stomach.
失明妻子去上班
Curious, Susan paused, asking why.
失明妻子去上班
Tears of happiness poured down Susan’s cheeks
失明妻子去上班
the old lady blurted out (脱口而出), her eyes wide open and glistening with hope
物归原主
Filled with guilt, Jenny presented the wallet to her.
物归原主
tears of gratitude streaming down her cheeks.
物归原主
Met with refusal, the wretched creature was on the verge of tears.
不一样的圣诞
The guilty mother looked upset, great sorrow clouding her face.
不一样的圣诞
With gifts in hand, the kids were on top of the world, whose laughter became quite infectious.
不一样的圣诞
he spotted the mug, his eyes wide open
给爸爸送母亲节的礼物
See——看一看
The little girl was about eight with a wide smile as she looked up at me.
14 级台阶
Carter looked down at his desk in horror.
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
What came into his sight was an ugly red car, which really annoyed him.
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
The youngest kid was staring at decorations on the tree, gesturing to get one from it.
不一样的圣诞
The rest froze, eyes falling on their little sister.
不一样的圣诞
I could clearly see the amazement on his face / in his eyes.
给爸爸送母亲节的礼物
Staring at my masterpiece(with satisfaction) , I wondered how my father would react when seeing the mug
给爸爸送母亲节的礼物
Say——说一说(直引、间引、省略)
佳句
来源
He told me I could leave now with relief.
14 级台阶
“What have you done to my car? ” he yelled loudly.
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
Jackson lowered his head, murmuring, “I … I just wanted to give you a surprise!”
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
Letting out a sigh of regret, he apologized to his brother sincerely, “I’m sorry for doing that, but I had planned to paint it blue.”
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
Before leaving, she hugged her husband tightly, and then said goodbye to him.
失明妻子去上班
Curious, Susan paused, asking why.
失明妻子去上班
the bus driver replied.
失明妻子去上班
“Are you Mrs. Green?” Jenny asked politely.
物归原主
“Madam, did you lose something?” Jenny continued.
物归原主
“I lost my wallet. In it is the money with which to buy gifts for some needy kids.” the old lady blurted out
物归原主
“You’re my real angel,” she said excitedly
物归原主
“I am to have a try,” said the third young employee, his voice firm and calm.
经理选人测试
“Did you forget to lock them?” the guy asked in great surprise.
经理选人测试
“No need,” the director smiled and shook his head
经理选人测试
I stepped out and explained softly, “It’s a Mother’s Day mug. It’s for you.”
给爸爸送母亲节的礼物
主题呈现
佳句
来源
分类
I am trying now not only to climb 14 steps each day, but in my small way to help others. Someday, perhaps, I’ll have the chance to help a blind man in equal difficulty — someone as blind as I used to be.
14 级台阶
主题呈现——对比,照应,象征性升华
The breeze wafted their face with delicious smell of the spaghetti and warmed the brothers’ hearts. There was no denying that siblings should get on well by being more tolerant of each other.
家庭成员之间的冲突和包容
主题呈现——环境描写;评述
although she couldn’t physically see him, she had always felt Mark’s presence. She was lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn’t need to see to believe--the gift of love that can bring light where there is darkness.
失明妻子去上班
主题呈现——象征性升华;人非人物非物
With the snow swirling in the air, Jenny ran across the street. She couldn't wait to tell her grandma that she was seen as a real angel by someone, which mattered more than a Hannah doll!
物归原主
主题呈现——环境描写;象征升华;内心话语
As they were leaving, the mother hugged each of us and whispered, “You're our real angels and it is your love that literally warms us up!”
不一样的圣诞
主题呈现——象征性升华;人非人物非物
Hearing these, the other two workers stood rigid over there, their faces reddening like ketchup. They did regret not even giving it a go.
经理选人测试
主题呈现——自然结尾,人物内心
Through the window, the setting sun cast a golden glow on us, warm and deep.
Or: I knew that was the most precious moment of love and care I had had remembered.
Or: That was the first time I had seen my father cry. I knew that was love between us.
Or: Even years later, my father’s laughter still echos in my ears. I know it is love.
给爸爸送母亲节的礼物
主题呈现——“最”法;“第”法; “回忆”法
教学中如何切实提高学生的阅读能力——以周报高二第五期B版为例
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标签: 描写人物的作文